Post two of seven, in section About Practice
Context
Different traditions and cultures have different intentions around spiritual practice. Some common intentions and values you may find include things like liberation, individuation, alignment, surrender, belonging, salvation, forgiveness, acceptance, beauty, peace, truth, freedom, divinity, or love.
Different practices also open different portals into different aspects of experience, and it can take a bit of time and detective work to find out which practices will be most beneficial, meaningful, and effective for you.
The awakening path that I am sharing is focused on awakening to your true nature and the true nature of the Universe.
Rather than following a dogma that exists outside of you, the path is about becoming sensitive to the ways that the depths of experience manifest themselves through you while also opening to Universal truths and experiences.
Your Intentions
You intentions are one aspect of your true self.
Clarifying your intentions for practice is a way of recognising the depths of your being and it gives you a compass to navigate your awakening journey with, rather than having to feel around in the dark hoping to discover what you want from practice.
One benefit of intention setting is that it creates an opportunity for you to align with who you truly are, rather than letting other people decide this for you.
Everyone has intentions, assumptions, and desires within them, and if these things are left in the unconscious, they will drive you on a subtle level that you aren’t aware of. They become a shadow. By making your core intentions conscious, you are bringing them into the light and giving yourself the capacity to work with them.
In order for the intention setting to stay real, it’s important to include your real-life experiences – to ground them in the truth of your practice – as well as to make space for your deepest desires and highest aspirations.
Wholeness
One of the most helpful things you can do for your practice is to start from a place of wholeness. In the same way that when you look at nature, there is no such thing as a tree that is wrong or a mountain that is broken; there is nothing fundamentally wrong with your natural self. You and every part of you are an aspect of the natural unfolding of the cosmos – it is all an expression of true nature.
Being in touch with the naturalness of all experience doesn’t mean that you have to let go of the parts of you that feel broken, imperfect, or challenging. It means that those imperfections are part of what makes up the whole of you in this moment. It also doesn’t mean that you have to accept the world or yourself as you are and do nothing about it. The desire to heal, grow, awaken, or change is an important aspect of that naturalness.
However, starting by connecting to a sense of fundamental goodness allows you to approach growth from a place of self-worth rather than self-hatred.
Intention Setting
Below is a simple intention-setting exercise. This exercise invites you to start where you are by bringing your unique perspective and experiences of awakening into conscious experience.
It’s the first thing I ask someone to do before I meet with them to discuss their practice.
Exercise
1. Set a timer for 2 mins, then write a list of all the best things you have gotten out of your practice to date. Don’t filter just let it flow. The timer is to help you avoid overthinking.
2. Set another two minute timer, this time list your biggest challenges in practice and in life. Again, don’t overthink just let it all flow.
3. Look at this list of intentions. Choose three words that you would most like to cultivate in your life and through your practice. Write a short description of what each word means to you.
4. Set a final two minute timer. Describe what awakening means to you.
Reflection
Intentions show you the things that are most important to you, and once you know what that is for you, you can notice what in your life and practice is in alignment with that and what is out of alignment.
I have done this exercise with a lot of people, and there are some common themes that arise as well as things that are unique for each person.
People often have a desire for things like love, aliveness or peace, but no two people are the same, and recognising and validating the unique way that you approach practice and life is an important step for you to be able to find and embrace your path.
You may want to spend some more time with your answers. Either thinking more deeply about what the answers really mean to you or envisioning what a practice could look like that supports your intentions.
If you would like to do some more reflection, here are some questions you could start with:
- What are some practices that are most likely to cultivate more of what you have found most beneficial?
- What might you need to do to overcome your challenges?
- Which practices might move you in the direction of your intentions?
- What do you think the stages might be on the way to your idea of awakening?
The Shadow
The shadow is the unconscious aspect of experience that does not align with the ego’s ideals. Being open to shadow work and integrating previously exiled emotions and perspectives is an important aspect of spiritual development.
Being too fixed on everything being a certain way, which is what tends to happen when people can’t do their shadow work, is the opposite of developing spiritual qualities, like love, openness, acceptance, and presence.
You don’t necessarily need to go hunting for shadows – they will present themselves to you as you go – but it’s good to remain open to the idea that everything might be completely different from what you expect.
Awakening often ends up being, at least in part, the opposite of what you wanted and expected it to be, and the cosmos tends to have a bit of a sense of humour around this.
I started out on the path wanting to feel my feelings more and be content in the fairly modest life that I had, but I was taken on an unimaginably intense cosmic journey. I have worked with people who really wanted to go on an epic cosmic journey and ended up mostly needing to feel their feelings more.
An aspect of the shadow is that the part of the path that you are least intuitively drawn to can often feel like the most challenging part while also having some of the richest ground for exploration.
Here are some questions you could ask yourself to explore your shadows:
- What are you hoping you will be able to avoid if you can achieve your definition of awakening?
- Write down a description of awakening that is the complete opposite of what you wrote down in the intention-setting exercise (even if that seems very silly). How would it feel if this were true? Is there any truth in it?
- Name three things that it is totally unacceptable for awakened people to feel.
- Write down these phrases or say them out loud and see which ones feel hardest to accept. Ones that feel emotionally charged point to a shadow underneath:
“I am a stupid little human, and I have no idea what experience is; I am likely to be humbled a thousand times and a thousand times again on this journey.”
“This journey is going to take a huge amount of hard work, and I am responsible for taking care of myself and my relationships during the process.”
“I am worthy of feeling good without having to work for it or prove myself.”
“I am willing to open my heart and have it broken in the process.”
Transpersonal
As well as awakening to your own unique true nature, awakening is also about becoming conscious of the true nature of the transpersonal or Universal level of experience.
There are many common themes of awakening that have been described across different traditions; for example, love as a fundamental aspect of experience, cosmic intelligence, and the interdependent nature of all things.
Brainstorm all the themes of awakening that you have heard of or have been drawn to that are more transpersonal in nature.
When they are listed out, choose one or two aspects of true nature that you would like to explore more, either through practice or learning more about them.
Practice Attitude
Your attitude towards practice affects your progress as much or more than the type of practice you do. Here are some things that reliably help people to practice in a healthy, wholehearted way.
Low Floor, High Ceiling
It’s great to have high aspirations in practice, but I like to pair this with fairly relaxed expectations.
A good first step is releasing some self-judgement about what counts as good practice. When I started practicing, I remember hearing about someone who had meditated every day for 30 years; the way they did it was by counting it as a meditation if they sat on the cushion for even one second.
One of the biggest barriers to practice is just starting, so reducing this barrier is helpful. Meditation is hard, and it’s useful to aim for feeling good about yourself for doing it rather than bad about yourself for not always doing it perfectly.
Joyful Practices
Finding something that feels joyful rather than punishing is super helpful for making practice engaging. The best case of this is finding the thing—whether it’s a person, a practice, or a goal—that inspires something in the depths of your being. This doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily easy all the time, but that practice and the idea of practice brings you to life.
If something is joyful rather than punishing, then you have a lot more capacity for hard work. Also, part of the point of practice is to learn to be able to be more present and enjoy the journey.
My favourite practical recommendation for bringing some joy into practice is meditating to music. Choose some music, lie or sit down, and use your body and your emotions as a concentration object. Notice how the music moves you and what it brings up in you. It can be deeply transformative and insightful.
Discipline
Discipline and commitment to practice are important.
Western society creates a lot of people with a strong inner critic. This critical and judgemental energy can be useful sometimes for problem solving, but it’s not so good for inspiring or motivating you.
Self-discipline that comes from a place of love rather than judgement is generally much more effective and aligned with the goals of spiritual practice.
Compare an inner critic to the discipline of an athletic coach; an athletic coach is there to support the athlete to work hard through challenging things and to bring out the best in someone. This energy is a lot more about empowerment and progress than getting things perfectly right.
To get a sense of these two modes of being, you can imagine two archetypal figures within you.
Firstly, imagine a critical energy that is being judgemental about everything you do. Allow it to say its piece, but once you’ve got the jist, thank it for its perspective and see if you can turn down the volume on it or if you can place it somewhere further away in your experience, like in the next room.
Now imagine a motivational energy, more like an inspiring leader who is wise, empowered, compassionate, and has your best interests at heart. They are going to hold you to account and ensure you do the things that you need to do. Remember what this feels like and create an image that you can come back to when you need it.
Summary
Practice is more powerful when it comes from alignment with the depths of your being. When you are clear about what your deepest values or intentions are, it means you can start from a place of realness and integrity.
Getting clarity on your deepest intentions can inspire you through difficult times and provide a compass to help you orient towards what is most meaningful to you. And even if things end up being different from what you expected, if you made your desires and intentions clear, then at least you are going through the process consciously.