Some simple practices for connecting on a deeper level
There is a completely different way of existing that you can shift into, where you are a container for receiving the world directly in this moment rather than something that is actively generating a version of it.
Being in this receiving mode is incredibly powerful for deepening your connection with other people, your life and the Universe.
This way of being also creates a whole new world of freedom for the Universe to express itself through you and is one of the deepest awakening shifts that I have gone through. It feels a bit like leaning back into experience.
When in this mode, you are open to receiving what is here, without judgement or separation between you and it. Your senses, thoughts, emotional responses and actions are all happening through you without a filter and without being seen through a projection.
It requires a level of vulnerability and courage to show up in this way – you are allowing things in and noticing your reactions in a sincere way, without dressing them up or trying to make them different to how they are. It’s like taking off the armour that you normally have to wear in everyday life.
Often people are hit with strong emotions when they move into this way of being. It is not uncommon for people to need to cry or feel strong anger, and for this to be received from someone else in a compassionate way, before this can open up for them.
If you can really be there with the fullness of experience in a brave and compassionate way, then instead of getting drawn into reactive cycles that keep you away from experience, you can create opportunities for connection, presence, understanding what matters and receiving experience as it is.
One of the most important things with these practices is that you are letting go completely of any desired outcomes and what you believe is right or wrong; you are holding an open space for whatever content is there that wants to be expressed through you. You don’t need to go in with any expectations that this will make you feel a certain way or be productive. In fact, you want to dismantle those beliefs.
This is letting go into a deeper trust that the full spectrum of experience is worth being with because truth and realness are fundamentally rewarding.
With all this in mind, here are some simple practices for feeling into receiving.
What are you receiving vs. what are you perceiving – a lot of meditation practice is aimed at reducing projections and opening you more fully to the true nature of experience.
Fear and stress can cause people to stay in projection, but leaning in to safety, connection and resilience can open you to a more receptive way of being.
Receiving Your Eyes
This is a really straight-forward practice that allows you to feel into the difference between looking and receiving.
Stand or sit in front of a mirror and notice the difference between what it is like to look into your eyes and what it feels like to receive your eyes.
There should be a sensation that feels something like relaxing back, softening, opening and receiving more of your vibes and emotions. Lots of people cry when they first shift into this state and receive the fullness of their being.
Play around with shifting between looking and receiving so that you can remember a sense of what receiving feels like. Notice where you feel the shift in the body, what direction it feels like, how you make the move – it helps the other practices to have a memory of moving into a mode of receiving.
You can also do this in pairs. Look into each other’s eyes and take it in turns to move between looking at and receiving each other. See if you can notice when the other person is moving between the two modes and if it feels different to you.
Meditating to Music
This is a practice that I recommend for a lot of different reasons. In this case it can be perfect for sensing into a receiving way of being.
This is a practice that you can do on your own, in which case it’s more like a shared practice between you and the music. But it can also be done in a group.
Music increases the range of emotions people are able to feel present with and creates a sense of flow in experience – both of these make it easier to drop back into a receiving way of being.
Choose some music that you feel matches your current state of being. Part of receiving is that you are not separating the inside from the outside, so making your environment match your inner world is helpful for this. If you are sad, put on some really sad music, if you are chilled choose some chill music etc.
You can then remove the barriers between you, the music and what it evokes in you and just give yourself over to being carried on a journey by experience. Trust that it will take you where you need to go – any sense of resisting your inner world or trying to make it something different is what gets in the way of receiving. Remember that you can’t get it wrong.
Allow things to be evoked in you – body sensations, emotions, thoughts, imagination, memories, the sounds of the different parts of the music.
Allow the music into your experience and just let it do whatever it does to you.
You don’t need to control the experience or direct your attention, you can go with the flow of it and let it take you on a journey. You may find that you are carried off into the imaginal or other aspects of experience, allow this to happen and come back to the sensation of the music washing over you and into your experience when you are ready.
This can also be a shared practice with another person or in a group. If you do it together, make some space before you start to do some heart sharing and afterwards share the journey you went on.
Deep listening is one of the skills you need to cultivate to access this way of being in yourself.
Rather than assuming you know what you’re seeing or hearing, you’re opening to a deeper way of receiving the meaning of what someone or something is communicating to you. You allowing for mystery, depth, resonance, emotional truth and mysticism in what is being shown to you.
Some ways you can practice this in pairs:
- Ask one person to describe something that matters to them for 5 minutes. Their partner receives it, listening carefully without responding. Focus purely on receiving and remaining open, without nodding or reacting in any way, and notice what it evokes in you.
- Choose a question to ask (here is a list of magic questions for inspiration). The person receiving, asks their partner the question. They allow them to talk as long as they would like without responding, just receiving their answer. If they would like to prompt them to continue talking, they can ask the same question again.
- Choose a question to ask. The person receiving asks their partner the question and then reflects back a summary of what they heard or how they experienced the other person when they were sharing. They then give their partner a chance to respond or update anything.
This skill is really important to practice for shared practices – to be able to be there for someone and receive what they are saying is a huge gift to give someone.
It is also the doorway into a new way of being in the world.
These inquiry questions reframe the world as if you are here to receive it. Sit facing each other with your eyes closed to use them in a group setting; or you can use them in your own personal inquiry.
When it is your turn to speak, imagine that you are picking up a stone and dropping it into the middle of a pond. Allow the words to sink into your experience, in the way the stone would sink into a pond. The ripples spreading out are like the words resonating through yours and your partner’s experience.
There is no rush or pressure to respond, the conversation can go as slowly or as quickly as feels natural and comfortable. Take some time to weigh up what feels safe to share and what feels meaningful to share.
You can take it in turns to ask and answer questions or you can nominate one person to ask and one person to answer and then swap roles. The person who is asking the questions may want to go off piste and follow their curiosity – asking the person questions about what they have shared.
Here are the basic questions:
‘If everything is happening by itself, how does your body feel right now?’
‘If everything is happening by itself, what emotions are present in your experience?’
‘If everything is happening by itself, how would you describe your heart right now?’
‘If everything is happening by itself, how does your mind feel?’
‘If everything is happening by itself, what feels most important in your experience right now?’
When working with people, I would use these as a spring board for exploration and often go into some guided imaginal practice to explore aspects of experience in more depth.