Shared Practices
Some simple practices for connecting on a deeper level
Here is a list of questions that are good for facilitating group or one-to-one conversations.
It’s good to just choose a handful of questions and give people lots of time to explore each question – allow it to percolate and let the answer arise and unravel through conversation. It’s good to ask more questions that continue to dig deeper into people’s perceptions and emotions.
Deep listening is an art form. People can tell when you are really listening to them, it’s a huge gift to offer someone, and it’s wonderful when people feel safe enough to share some of their inner world with you.
If this is new to you, you may want to start with Practicing Receiving.
Enjoy!
If you struggle to express yourself and be your authentic self while in connection (and who doesn’t) you can find facilitated practice spaces, like circling, and it can also be useful to practice finding your voice on your own. These two exercises were created by David Lassiter for that purpose.
Take around 5 minutes to answer each of these questions out loud, ideally recorded so you can hear it back later. If you run out of things to say before 5 minutes, simply repeat what feels most important.
If you feel emotion (grief, anger, sadness, etc), speak into those emotions, allowing them to grow and express. No need for your responses to be eloquent or even logical – just allow whatever wants to flow.
It might be helpful to begin with the frame that no one will ever hear these answers, and that this is simply for you to express as fully and as freely as possible. Imagine speaking “from” rather than “about”.
If any of these feel like the wrong question or don’t resonate, feel free to modify them in a way that strikes home more deeply. If you find the process overwhelming or confusing, feel free to go very slowly, feeling your way intuitively through what wants to come out in response to these questions.
The purpose is to turn on the tap of communicating from your truth and to get things flowing – it may be that some dirty water is what emerges first but if it can flow for a while then it will begin to run clear.
Begin by finding a quiet place to sit or lie down, and allow your body and your breath to become slow and relaxed. Take some time to connect with your body, how it feels, and especially in your core, around your heart and solar plexus. When you have arrived, imagine dropping the following questions into your heart like pebbles, and seeing what ripples emerge – nothing is off limits, and allow yourself to be surprised by the answers.
1. What do you most deeply yearn for?
2. What do you want most for yourself in this life?
3. What do you want most for others?
4. What do you want most for the world?
When you have completed these questions, re-focus your attention and drop these same questions into your solar-plexus, and see what answers emerge.
Lastly, repeat the process dropping these questions into your sacral chakra, your creative center.
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Standing on your feet, knees slightly bent so that your hips sink down and your spine feels long and heavy, allow your hands to rest by your sides and face your open palms forward, as in a position to receive – feel the power in your legs buttocks, and hips, and the weight of your body in your guts. Imagine you are allowed to do or say anything you wish – anything at all – what emerges? Begin with these sentence stems –
I want…
I need…
I deserve…
I wish for…
and see where the exploration takes you. Use your voice, and feel the depth, power, and resonance of the words you speak in your viscera. If emotion comes up, speak into it directly and allow it to flow. Allow your body to move if you feel it strengthens your connection to the words you are speaking.
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Write an open letter to the universe, in which you share, to your heart’s content, absolutely all your wishes, wants, desires, expectations, hopes, dreams, yearnings, secret longings, deepest dreams, holding nothing back. If it helps to create a sense of urgency, perhaps imagine that anything not included in this letter will not be fulfilled – so don’t hold back, even if it feels over the top or embarrassing in any way – allow yourself to feel, connect with, and express your deepest wishes and longings, whatever they may be, and share them with the universe, from the simplest request to the grandest vision.