Group Practices
Here is a list of questions that are good for facilitating one-to-one conversations. They could also be used in a group setting.
A good practice is for the person asking the question to hold a space of radical open-hearted acceptance. How much space can you give the other person to truly be themselves?
Here’s a format for the most simple and direct way to work with the questions:
- Work in pairs.
- Pick one question to work with.
- Set a time limit (like 5 – 10 minutes).
- The person asking the question asks the question, holds open-hearted space for the person to respond and doesn’t say anything.
- If the responder finishes what they are saying, the person asking the question repeats the same question – they don’t ask or say anything else except the question. Give the responder plenty of time to speak.
- Repeat until the time is up.
- Swap roles.
Example:
Question asker: “Tell me something you’re proud of.”
Question answerer: Responds until they go quiet.
Question asker: “Tell me something you’re proud of.”
Question answerer: Responds until they go quiet.
Question asker: “Tell me something you’re proud of.”
Repeat until the time is up
When the question asker doesn’t say anything other than the question, it gives the person who is responding the chance to really feel into their experience without being pulled into normal conversation or social roles. Both people can just be lovingly present with what is emerging.
It is usually helpful to consciously connect to your heart and hold a space of loving kindness or radical acceptance while you listen.
People often find this exercise difficult to do. People enact social roles habitually to make themselves and others feel more comfortable; the question asker often wants to interject, ask further questions, empathise, or offer advice. Part of the purpose of the exercise is to be more present with what can emerge outside of these habits.
Sticking to one question without distraction also allows the person responding to sink deeper into presence. Perspectives and ideas can change as people are given more time and space to unravel their answer to a question. Surprising new insights can emerge as someone opens up more and peels back layers of ideas and experiences.
Listening is an art form. It’s a huge gift to offer someone, and it’s wonderful when people feel safe enough to share some of their inner world with you. Time boundaries help people relax into this.
If this is new to you, you may also want to read the guide for Practicing Receiving.
Enjoy!
- What brings you joy in life?
- Describe yourself through the eyes of a friend.
- Describe your biggest challenge in life and how that makes you feel.
- What is something dark or absurd that you take pleasure in?
- What feels important to recognise in your experience right now?
- Tell me about hope in your life.
- Tell me about disappointment in your life.
- Tell me about love in your life.
- Tell me about loss in your life.
- What do you want?
- What makes you angry?
- How do you express boundaries?
- What do you feel you’re owed in life?
- What do you feel you owe to life?
- What is the biggest benefit you’ve had from your spiritual practice?
- What is your biggest challenge in your practice?
- If you could ask anyone one question, who and what would it be?
- How would you answer this question yourself?
- If you are the Universe experiencing itself, what are you most annoyed at the Universe for burdening you with?
- If you are the Universe experiencing itself, what are you most grateful to the Universe for gifting you with?
- How would you describe the shape of your inner world?
- Describe what you imagine other people’s inner worlds are like.
- Tell me something you’re proud of.
- Tell me something that you long for.
- Tell me about when you feel most authentically yourself.
- Who are you?
- What is one thing in life you wish you were allowed to feel, be, or do?
- What would you feel more free to enjoy if there were fewer expectations or pressure on you?
- What is something that you don’t want to compromise on?
- What helps you feel less self-conscious?
- How do you most enjoy giving to others?
- What do you most enjoy receiving?
- What would you most like to be forgiven for?
- What would you most like to forgive in someone else?
- What would you most like to forgive the world for?
- What is at risk for you if you were able to forgive these things?
- Tell me about vulnerability in your life.
- Tell me about when you feel safe.
- Tell me about times you felt at peace in life.
- What emotions are you feeling right now?
- If all life is a shamanic journey, what is it teaching you?
- What is the story that you are in the Universe to tell?
- What would make the experience of life unequivocally worthwhile for you?
- Tell me about what you most enjoy contributing to the world.
- Tell me about what you love most about yourself.
- Tell me about what makes you feel loved.
- Think of someone you love unconditionally – what are some things you love about them?
- What would you do if you had a day to do whatever you wanted?
- What would you most like others to recognise about you?
- How would you most like to be seen?
- What traits do you think others most appreciate in you?
- What traits do you most appreciate in others?
- Tell me about some ‘bad’ traits you revel in, in yourself or others.
- If you could have one aspect of yourself accepted by the people around you, what would it be?
- Bring someone to mind whose presence you appreciate. Who are you allowed to be in their company?
- Choose a word from this list that captures something you would like to have more of in life – describe what it means to you and give examples of when you’ve felt it in your life.
