Soulfulness is a place with the potential for lots of beautiful connection between each other and ourselves.
Creativity bypasses the concepts of right and wrong, so through this process, we can make space for each other to be different and appreciate these differences. The realm of imagination and how we fantasise about others also opens up a huge opportunity to learn about ourselves and connect with the depths of our inner worlds.
Making space for this more mysterious and intuitive way of connecting and communicating can bring a huge amount of depth and soulfulness to our relationships. Rather than interacting on a surface level, we are sharing the depths of our being.
To do this effectively, it needs someone to be able to hold the space and create a safe, playful and creative atmosphere where people aren’t being judged for what they are sharing or needing to get anything right. It is about opening to the mystery of life together.
The fruits of this practice come from a willingness to be vulnerable. To open up and show a depth of emotion that is normally hidden.
It is worth checking out the shared practices area of my website if you are interested in this aspect of practice.
Soul Mates & Sexuality
We play an important role in each other’s stories and can have a huge range of spiritual friends who guide us along our path and encourage us to deepen our relationship with the world and ourselves.
Soul mates are people who we connect with on some deep, inexplicable level. They inspire something in us where we feel that our life force is in some way met, seen or being fuelled. It is someone we feel a strong sense of chemistry with, where a sense of creativity or eros is sparked in us.
This can be sexual and opening to our sexuality and deepest desires is another way of accessing this part of ourselves.
But it can also be platonic. The creativity can be about fuelling each other to become the best version of yourselves and to create things in the world together, for example.
It can also exist in our imaginations. Jung talks about the anima and animus in his work – the unconscious feminine side of a man and the unconscious masculine side of a woman. In order to reintegrate these parts of ourselves we will sometimes create an archetypal fantasy of the sort of person we would like to be with or project onto a real person who we know the ideal traits that we would like to embody.
When held lightly this can be a really fun and interesting part of experience to explore. Sexual, erotic and romantic fantasy is a hugely rich world of experience that can be incredibly beautiful and exciting to explore.
Fantasy can tell us so much about ourselves. The things we are attracted to, how that makes us feel and the situations we imagine ourselves in – these are all showing us aspects of ourselves that are often hidden in daily life.
They are the things that bring us to life and approaching them with an awareness of their mysterious nature, seeing them as symbolic and being curious about what they are pointing towards, allows us to use them to deepen our experience and sense of soulfulness.
A lot of sexual fantasy is where our shadows and darkness exist. Opening to these parts of ourselves, either in our fantasy world or with others in a safe way, can be hugely liberating. We can free up parts of ourselves that would otherwise remain hidden and liberate them into healthy and wholesome parts of our being.
Most people don’t talk about their fantasies, particularly romantic or sexual ones, because it can be embarrassing. If you look on Reddit there are people there who share all their cute and dark sexual and romantic fantasies and it’s really nice to know that everyone experiences this.
It can also be the aspect of experience where people can feel most lonely, when they aren’t met in this way.
This can be a huge opportunity for connection with our inner worlds. We can learn to be present more directly with the desire in us. Rather than letting it carry us off into the past or future in some concrete way, we are allowing the desire, fantasy and felt-sensations to express themselves in the present moment through our beings.
Using sexual fantasy as the focus for imaginal practice can be an amazing practice for opening up our sense of eros. I write more about that in my overview of imaginal practice.
These things are very rarely talked about in spirituality and I feel it’s really important to recognise them. Both because it can be a hugely rich part of experience that allows us to cultivate a deep sense of presence, intimacy and depth in our experience and because the desire to be in love is innately compelling and really important to almost all humans. It feels much healthier to allow that aspect of us to be present in experience, rather than denying it exists or trying to shut it down.
Being honest about your desires around this and turning your dating or love life into a part of what you feel is sacred in life can be really beautiful and an amazing way to deepen your intimacy with yourself, others and experience.
Two (or more) people who love each other whole-heartedly is one of the most beautiful expressions of life and humanity in action. Especially when they have learned to support each other to become the best versions of themselves and help each other grow.
Sharing fantasies and the imaginal is a beautiful way for two people to connect and bring each other to life. Whether that be romantic and sexual or in a deep friendship.
Fantasy, Creativity & Fascination
Our soulfulness is where fantasy, creativity and fascination arises from in us.
Carving out some time to be in our fantasy worlds and allowing them to show themselves to us can be deeply nourishing for us and is a chance for us to know ourselves better.
What we find fascinating in life is indicative of what is meaningful to us – these are the things we are drawn to. This can be very beautiful aspects of life, but we can also find the darkness compelling in this way.
All of these are the things that are going to spark creativity in us. It is through being in contact with aspects of experience that are in some way compelling that we feel inspired to create things.
They also give us access to the parts of experience that feel most deeply personal to us. They connect with something deep inside us that feels emotive and meaningful.
Can you be brave and allow yourself to create the thing that feels most vulnerable to create? Artists that put themselves into their work are the ones who create really compelling art, poetry, music, writing and work.
“Love, longing and the restlessness of the human heart are the catalyst for every creative revolution”
All of these things – fantasy, creativity and fascination – are fleeting. They pass through us as things to be enjoyed in this moment.
The soul is a river and allowing space for things to keep moving is how we stay in the flow. Make some time in your day for fantasy and allow yourself to be inspired by what you find compelling and fascinating.