Practice Guide
About
My approach to practice is using a combination of meditation, psychotherapy, body work, common sense and supportive group work. It has allowed me to awaken into deep and profound states of consciousness, connect deeply with my life and the people in it and meet all of life with openness and joy.
For me, practice is a part of the way I live my life, rather than a practice for some future that we will never arrive at. I like to think that even when they are hard, my practices have a sense of joy or fun in them. I wanted to share some of my favourite practices in the hope that they may be supportive for other people, too.
It is my experience, that these are the qualities that the spiritual path will allow you to experience and deepen in your life. Having spoken to a lot of people along the way about their path, this is aligned with a lot of what most people are hoping to find from their practice.
- Being more present in the now
- Living in a more natural, flowing and joyful state
- Finding a sense of purpose and confidence in your path
- Acting and thinking wisely and skilfully
- Feeling at peace with yourself and the world
It is worth saying, that no amount of awakening will replace the need to be seen, loved and respected by our fellow humans. I’ve seen this misunderstanding (and sometimes misrepresentation) of spirituality lead to confusion and disappointment for those following the path and it can lead to abuse by people in positions of power. This misconception will feed and create narcissistic tendencies in people, which is surprisingly common in spiritual leaders.
These five attributes are also not something that you can practice directly, they arise from creating the right conditions for them in your life. It is also worth saying that these conditions aren’t entirely within a person’s control – there are plenty of factors like systemic oppression, poverty and personal challenges – that will make it more difficult or impossible for individuals to cultivate the space for these attributes. Another largely unrecognised truth within spirituality.
Most meditation practices expect us to find these states automatically if we sit in stillness long enough. Modern life is very different to that of a monk’s life 1,000 plus years ago; our society is less suited to our human animal nature, which makes us feel less safe. We also hold a lot more information, we are busier and our culture is more brain-focused. Given all this, I believe that it is supportive to offer more guidance to our selves and our bodies, to help us navigate through the processes that will cultivate these capacities.
You can be especially incompatible to silent meditation if you have trauma, if you are sensitive, if you feel things very deeply or if you are someone with a lot of life force in you.
By the way, in the house I grew up in, ‘sensitive’ was pretty much the worse thing you could call someone. It has a lot of negative valence attached to it in our culture, but if you can create the right conditions for it, sensitivity is actually a huge gift that allows you to pick up on subtle forms of beauty, magic and connection in life.
The conditions that we need in order to cultivate these five attributes in our life, come from the heart. This is not a metaphor, your physical heart literally holds the states that will help you cultivate these capacities. Trust me, it’s beautiful. The states already exist there and we are learning the techniques to peel back layers of conditioning and open our hearts, allowing these lovely attributes to flow out of us.
- Presence arises with compassion
- Flow arises with joy
- Purpose arises with inclusion
- Wisdom arises with friendliness
- Peace arises with spaciousness
Compassion, joy, inclusion and friendliness are the natural states of the heart. I am creating a short guide for some of the practices I use for opening up to our natural capacity to embody these states. I hope that they are helpful and interesting.
Heart Awareness Practice
Before starting any of the practices in the guides, do this very short meditative practice:
- Start by looking at this picture of a tree. Or your own picture of a tree. Or a real tree. Hearts love trees. Seeing one will naturally allow your heart to relax and soften.
- Focus on your physical heart, or the space where you imagine your heart is. We are so used to being in our heads, it may be useful to imagine taking an elevator down from your brain to the middle of your chest. See if you can feel you heart-beat there. Or get a sense of how your heart is doing or feeling.
- You can place a hand on your chest if that feels like it will help you keep your awareness there.
- Place one hand on your belly and breath in to your hand, so that your belly expands.
- Do a few breaths, where the out-breath is at least four seconds long. This will engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the nervous system we use when we’re in a relaxed state (as opposed to our fight/flight nervous system).
- Notice if you can feel parts of your body relax while doing this process.
If you enjoy meditation and find this relaxing, you can do this for as long as you like before starting any of the activities. If you struggle with stillness, a few breaths is all you need to do. It will make the world of difference and ensure you are starting from a soft and relaxed place.
If at any point during the practice (or in life) you start to feel stressed or overwhelmed you can come back to this simple exercise where a few breaths can transform how your body is experiencing and reacting to the world.
Links to All Practice Guides
It is helpful to start by reading the introduction.
The states build upon each other, so it can be useful to read them in order.