How To Be Present

Hi.

Welcome to my website.

I’ve decided to put all my content here, rather than write a book, because I want to disrupt the way we approach spirituality. I am not here to give you the answers or tell you how to be in life.

I am here to help you to learn to be present in your own experience.

I believe in finding the balance between engaging with the content of our lives and connecting with the more mystical and interconnected aspect of our beings. Ultimately, the two are inextricable and each is the doorway to the other; being present requires integrating aspects of both.

Rather than distilling everything down to an idea that progresses through a book that you can read in a logical order, you can approach this website more like a choose your own adventure. This page is here to give you some guidance about where to start and how to navigate it.

Probably the most important message that is weaved throughout all my content is that there is no one solution or answer. Life is messy and complicated and there is no final way to escape this. This website is an invitation to connect with the full spectrum of your being and to embody it in a way that feels good for you and is beneficial for the people in your life and, ultimately, all beings.

One of my strongest philosophies is that it is through facing our challenges, vulnerabilities and darkness that we develop both clarity and the capacity for joyful presence in life.

“Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.” Khalil Gibran

The Structure

Everything I share is created on the foundation that we are body-heart-mind-souls. All of these aspects of ourselves and our experience arise interdependently together.

We can change lenses and focus in on the different parts but every aspect of experience will have a component of each of these intrinsically built into it.

I use these different parts throughout my content – the body, the heart, the mind and the soul.

As a general overview, the body is about the physical reality that we find ourselves in. The heart is about how we feel and connect to things. The mind is to do with clarity and how we understand life and ourselves. And the soul is all the parts of experience that are ineffable or abstract.

The purpose of my content is to help you feel into and connect with these different parts of yourself with more clarity, sensitivity and depth.

Feel free to follow you intuition around the content.

Where to Start

I’d always recommend starting with an intention setting exercise. This helps you tune-in to what is important to you in life and practice.

I would also recommend reading my short dictionary. It has some brief definitions of words that I use a lot in very specific ways that will help you understand my writing with more depth and clarity.

If you’d like to know more about me and my journey, I’d recommend reading my poetry book, which tells the story of my awakening.

Awakening

If you want to get an understanding of the different aspects of our being and what it means to awaken them, then you can look at my whole being framework.

If you want to find out which are of experience you are most drawn to, there is a quiz to help you identify which area of awakening to focus on.

Healing

If you want to focus on healing and becoming a healthy and embodied version of yourself in the world, then start with the practice guides.

If you’re looking for somewhere to start your practice, there’s a quiz to help you identify which area of practice would be most healing for you.

Darkness and Sincerity

I have said this a lot, but there really is no final answer – there is only the experience of sharing in being in this moment together, and the full spectrum of what that brings.

With this in mind, when looking for teachers, I would stay away from anyone who claims to have all the answers and people who talk only about the light.

A huge red flag is if a person is unwilling to admit their vulnerabilities, to be present with their own darkness or to face the humbling reality that each person has their own answer within them.

If someone is unable to claim their own darkness, they will have strong shadow sides. When we have shadows, we push our darkness down to our subconscious, but it doesn’t go away. Depending on the amount of power that we have, we either turn those shadows in on ourselves or we enact them in the world in unhealthy subconscious ways – people in positions of spiritual authority are more likely to be in the latter camp and will subtly and not so subtly undermine and belittle others to make themselves feel big.

This is hard to spot if you also have this dynamic within you, we are drawn to people who enact unhealthy dynamics, but it is surprising how commonly I spot this in very popular spiritual teachers.

I have heard the argument that this shouldn’t matter – that it is the techniques that need to stand up – but these subtle enactments of shadows will come out through everything that that person says and teaches. Everything we teach is an expression of our beings.

Know that your darkness is very welcome here. Depression, anger, hatred, pain, disdain, anxiety, stress, fear, violent thoughts and feelings and all the other aspects of ourselves that we often hide away or repress are all parts of the human experience. We need to learn to connect with these so that we can be whole and real, with ourselves and each other.

Hopeless

There is liberation to be found
In the worst thing happening

You can be the best possible version of yourself
And still get fucked by life
There are no guarantees

Sometimes we just need to show up to the shit show
And let it all in

Getting these parts out can be a stressful and difficult experience, but ultimately it is through doing this that we liberate the energy that is tied up in these parts, in order to become healthier and more whole.

To give you some examples of this, my first big spiritual openings were in the context of shadow work therapy. This is done in a group setting and I was allowed to open to parts of myself that had been repressed.

I was a very emotionally closed person and in my first session, I sobbed wildly in front of a group of people. This was an intensely liberating and transcendent experience that opened up new layers of emotional expression for me.

I have also embodied my inner patriarchy, where I tortured the feminine, cutting it into tiny pieces and smashing it with a baseball bat. Ultimately, this released this energy from inside of myself so that I could be a more free expression of the feminine energy and wasn’t carrying the collective trauma or oppressive karmic energy pattern inside me.

These themes, of strong emotional expression, violence, sex and liberating collective shadows have resonated throughout my personal practice and path.

By sharing this, I am not suggesting that everyone needs to go as deep or intense as this, but I want to show how these things don’t necessarily say something about us. They are energies and parts of the collective conscious that influence all of us.

They have been put inside of us by our experiences, by societal structures and ultimately through Universal energies. We can create a huge amount of freedom of expression by releasing the contractions and untangling the knots that they create in us.

Underneath or inside every shadow is a little bit of gold – a healthy part of us that wants to come home and be integrated into a heartful way of being and it is through going to these places that we are able to uncover and connect with it.

It is through this process that we are able to unlock deep and lasting states of pleasure, connection, clarity and resilience in life.

Group Work

I’m a huge believer in the importance of friendship and working in groups to complement our contemplative practice. Life is collaborative and we only exist in our relationships, so bringing this aspect into practice means we are more likely to make lasting and meaningful change.

Group work can be within a formal practice environment, but it can also just be done with friends.

Learning to communicate openly and sincerely with people about the full spectrum of your experience from a place of owning your own projections is one of the most powerful things you can do for coming into presence.

Teachers

I’d recommend building your spiritual library as if you are collating a team to support you in your growth.

The content that you read and listen to is like an extension of the people you engage with in the real world. Find people that feel inspiring in a real-life way, the sort of people you would like to be around, rather than some authority figure who is telling you what to do with your life.

Remember to Have Fun

The path can be incredibly steep, treacherous and winding; we can get very lost, exhausted and scared at times.

Remember to enjoy the views and the company, when they are good.

Good luck!