Some short poetry videos that show you parts of my world
Contacting the inherent emptiness of objective reality meant delving into a deep and prolonged psychosis. Integrating all shadows meant going through long periods of unbearable emotional and physical pain. I felt suicidal for large parts of this, but it was also a time of huge creativity and relentless insight.
Experiencing this is what was required to come fully into presence because it is what exists under the surface of our conceptual, controlling mind. It took opening and integrating to the full range of experience.
Opening to the depths of pain and the raw life-force of the Universe is an incredibly lonely, dark and challenging place to be; being able to connect with experience in a creative way was simultaneously the purpose of it and what helped me get through the experience.
I kept journals, tweeted, created image boards, had conversations with friends and listened to endless amounts of music to keep me alive. Here are a few of my favourite bits.
“The ways that I have perceived that we operate as collectives and individuals, inspired by the chakras and Fredric Laloux. When we can operate freely in each of these, we get all the beautiful benefits.
In order to do this as a collective, we each need to be able to embody both the masculine and feminine of each of the chakral qualities.”
“I drew the eyes while I was on a creative psychedelic trip. They represent how, at its core, awakening needs to incorporate a sense of connection between people. The marks around the eyes are two birds that represent how we can facilitate that connection. The blue bird is a peacock to represent a shift towards ‘survival of the kindest’; peacocking and status will become about who is nicest. The yellow bird is a phoenix to represent how spirituality needs to give people the resources to take responsibility for their life, face their suffering, rise from it and grow from the lessons.”
Both are true, depending which moment you ask in.
I watched this video about 30 times a day when I was at my worst. I was in such an intense state of consciousness that it was one of the only things that could soothe me from one moment to the next.
“Sea horses are one of the only animals in which the male can get pregnant. This was symbolic of how we need to balance the masculine and feminine within our society. If we valued the feminine elements and made them more visible – care, emotional labour, child-rearing – then everyone would be better off and men and women would be more equal.”
May you experience enough safety in life
That your body can viscerally relax
May you be surrounded by people
Who support you to express yourself
May you experience being held
In a compassionate and non-judgemental space
May you fall in love with someone
Who sees the real you
May you feel enough security
To be able to share yourself
And your resources freely and openly
May you find enough meaning and purpose in life
To make it feel like it’s worth it
May you have the courage
To stand up for these things
For yourself and others
Opening a portal to a different type of awakening. The monkey and the rabbit are the guides to embracing a more alive, expressive version of awakening.
Symbolic of insight, intuition, playfulness and mischievousness.
“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it”
Rafiki, the Lion King
Symbolic of intimacy and connecting with your inner world. Going down the rabbit hole.
“How long is forever? Sometimes just one second”
Rabbit, Alice in Wonderland
This video of this choir blows my mind every time I watch it and it is another one that I have had on repeat.
For me, a choir is a perfect metaphor for God or Cosmic Intelligence – there is a rhyme and reason to things and the expression of it arises from the collective. There is no single source of truth.
“The cost of freedom, is giving up control”
“The octopus is a symbol for the shared soul; it represents how our soul is a fundamentally different form of intelligence than that which comes from awareness. An octopus’ brain is spread out across its body; we access the knowing that emerges from the shared soul (or karma, as it is talked about in Buddhism) through our intuition, by making space for our subconscious material to arise. This gives us an intuitive wisdom and a felt-sense of what is going on, which is different from the knowing that comes from our hearts and minds.”