Appendix – Changing the Experience of the Universe
Again, this is something that I intuitively understand, it’s just something that is clearly in how I experience the world, but I expect it’s hard for others to get their head around or to believe.
The Universe is a being, just like you and me. It has its own experience and understanding of itself. We are what creates those things – without humans it would be a lot less intelligent.
Non-duality is not saying that everything is at one or that everything is the same or that nothing is separate.
It’s saying that inside and outside; dark and light; compassion and rage; good and bad; space and solid; self and other; masculine and feminine; are deeply intertwined to the point where they aren’t able to exist without their opposite. If you take one of them away, the other one also disappears.
In that way they aren’t two things – they are creating each other. If you change one of them the other is automatically changed and affected.
If you have two chocolates and you eat one, you are left with just one. They are two things. But if you take away everything that is dark in this world, the light also disappears. They are inseparable from each other.
In this way, we are creating the Universe. Experience doesn’t exist without an experiencer and experiencers don’t exist without experience. By transforming my experience of my self so radically I transformed the Universe.
One of the ways was taking this non-duality to a new depths of embodiment. A space where we realise that the desire to control or have power over does not hold any value because it is just getting in the way of the connection that we all crave. This was processing the trauma of the Universe through my body – in order to be able to meet everything with Compassionate presence.
Another way was by opening to the soul or archetypal realm and validating it as a real part of experience. This was the psychosis. Before this the Universe believed that everything arose in awareness. It knew that awareness existed beyond space-time and that it was somehow arising out of this.
But we are equally arising from our shared story. It thought that meaning was something that we added to experience through our minds – I showed it that meaning and story is inherently baked in to every cell of the Universes’ being and beyond.
The archetypal story that is being told through the Universe is creating our reality just as much as the awareness of it. It is the dark to balance the light, the feminine sense of feeling to balance the masculine sense of seeing. You cannot have one without the other.
Combining these two things also created another deep change of realisation for the Universe. We are not arising in awareness, we are arising with awareness. Not just with our story but also in that that which exists outside space-time (awareness and soul) only exists because of that which exists inside space-time (love and matter). It is all arising together.
Depending on which lens you are looking through in each moment depends on which comes first or whether they arise interdependently all at the same time.
Changing the experience of the Universe is essentially butting up against the limits of what is possible for a human being to experience and open to. This is not a mental exercise – in order to understand this, the process had to change my heart, body and fundamental story around who I was, as much as it had to change my mind.
The funniest and best way I have found to describe this is this silly video. This is what is was like validating the archetypal realm.
In this context the Universe was the Lonely Island and I was Michael Bolton. Through endlessly wrestling with what was real and a valid part of experience, I was constantly being taken back to the ever-changing meaning, mythos and story that is instilled in every moment. A place where the world is not governed by capitalism and the male gaze of awareness, but by plot-lines and an embodied sense of who you feel you are.
It is the necessary balance of the feminine to the masculine. The feeling to the understanding. The heart to the mind.
This part of experience never settles on anything – it is constantly moving and changing and meaning something different in each moment. Everything has a thousand potential meanings, everything means only what it means in this moment.
So that is the story of changing the experience of the Universe – let it mean whatever it means to you in this moment.